Buying the bike (wet July)

Mid-July 2007

Last week I was on a right ‘downer’. Partly cos’ I’d picked up a wog and felt like someone had rammed a melange of pepper and dried chilli up into my sinuses. But mostly because I’d been concentrating on trying to find a bike for the impending trip, and was failing to do so. I’d been trolling the internet to see which bike’s were where. And as these things go, most were bloody miles away, which precluded jumping on the Harley for a squizz to see if they were good un’s or not. After a few weeks of research, had narrowed it down to two possibilities. Either an F650GS or a Transalp. For those of you not familiar with mo’bikes, the first’s a BMW single cylinder, and the 2nd one made by Honda. Spose I could bore you with the details a little bit here …… Let’s start with the Beemer. If you’ve seen ‘The Long Way Round’ with Ewan Mc’ and Charlie Boorman they did their trip on R1200GS’s. The only thing those bikes have in common with mine is general design. They’d look similar to the untutored eye and both have BMW badges. Apart from that they’re totally different!!!! My 650’s engine’s got a good rep’ for reliability and is supposedly economical, so satisfies the little angel sat on my shoulder who’s constantly nagging me about environmental issues. The Honda’s got a vee twin engine and has its own long list of good things. Reflecting briefly on why I concentrated on the Bee Em, could only conclude it’s the fact I’d had a test-ride on one. And that other little thing …. I liked the look of it better than the Transalp, Yeah, I know ….. How shallow can you get? Yeah but, no but …… on a more practical note, is that after nosing about in and around both bikes engines, decided the Honda’s mechanical bits, were harder to get at should anything go awry and need fixing.

Last week’s downer was prompted after missing out on a couple of BM’s on eBay. There were other websites listing used bikes, but eBay seemed to have the latest available. After phoning about a few on the Bike Trader site, found that most were either gone or in the case of one just over the bridge in Wales, not suitable cos’ it didn’t have factory heated grips (a must-have I’d decided). Oh, and by the way, the guy I spoke to about this bike suffered from verbal diarrhoea, and so simply didn’t fancy doing a deal with him. In fact he was so annoying, I was mentally nutting him down the phone ……

I seemed to be going through some kind of thinking process realignment, about buying a bike over the internet. Of course the usual buyer beware is always at the forefront of the decision making process. But crikey, how did you go about putting in a serious bid, if you’ve not seen the bike concerned? This thing about distance and not being able to see it, meant the first thing to do was try to make contact with the buyer. And either get a series of emails going, or telephone to ask the usual inane questions, such as ‘Why are you selling it?’ As if someone’s going to front-up and say ‘cos it’s bloody well knackered!’

Any road up ….. Am now back on the up n' up, as I've finally got myself a bike. Yeeharrrrrr !!!! Should've had confidence it'd come right. What a Weak Willed Ninny!!!

So yeah, it came up on eBay last Friday .... and to cut to the chase, offered the guy his asking price. Subject that is, to paying cash on pick-up (giving me a chance to back out if it turned out to be a lemon). Everything seemed to be kosher, so did the deal. Nice guy too .... He's in the forces and waiting for not only a tour of Afghanistan (scary place), but also his missus’s expecting 1st child (hence selling the bike). He was left enthralled to hear about my plans for an overland to Oz ........

Gotta tell you about the ride home after picking the bike up ... The drive to Aldershot (where the bike was) saw us all setting off a little after midday. Kim was driving, with me Matt & the mad mutt along with a pile of wet-weather biking gear in the back of the old Peugeot. It'd been raining on and off (some pretty heavy showers too) for most of the 1 ½ hour drive up. In coming to one place where the road was shut off due to floods, we had to search for an alternative route but found our way through without too much time wasted. Then when it came to the return journey, we ended up back at the same place. It seemed to me a good idea (these things always seem a good idea at the time) to test out the bike seeing as it's designed as an on-road/off-road all-terrain … winds & weather bike. Tentatively I set off through the first bit, not realising there was another section of road underwater a Kilometre so further on. Before continuing on to the 2nd flood, I started back towards the 1st one see how Kim was faring. She was turning around ..... I guessed she'd decided not to chance it and was going to follow the GPS directions instead (as you drive in the wrong direction, it recalculates to find an alternative route). Seeing her turning did another U'ee myself, and went back towards the 2nd bit of flooded road again. This time it was longer and looked a sight deeper ..... In the distance there was a 4wd making its way through, which confirmed it was something like knee to mid-calf deep. Hmmm m'thinks 'this could be interesting'. I was undecided about whether to chance it, but as the dirt-digger came through okay and didn't show up any obviously deep holes I hit 1st gear and took off gingerly. 1/4 way across my boots filled up, and realised three things: One, was that another van that was taking his chances from the other direction was ploughing through too fast and setting up a bow wave. Two was; I'd yet to hit the deepest bit. And three, there was an unnervingly strong current moving transversely across the road. I was so incensed by this prick-in-a-van (who couldn't think past the end of his bonnet). And with it evident he was oblivious to the fact that the bow wave he was creating was going to hit me hard, my impending anger didn't allow me to worry too much about breaking-down. The inane grin was wiped off of his face from a torrent (to match the floodwater) of colourful abuse hurled through his open window. "Mo'fo'ing, P**k of a W**k*r .... with the brain of an ant!!! Hope your bloody engine seizes!"

When the wave hit it caused a wobble. But the worst thing was, it broke over the front washing up to seat height. The engine would have been mostly underwater at that point. Mental check-list (admittedly a bit late) went something like: Exhaust is ass-height .... yeah, should be okay. Air-intake .... AIR INTAKE. Shit! how high's that on the bike??. My legs are now lifted as high as possible, but it's now close to ass-level. F**k! Keep going ...... not too fast. Keep the rev's up ..... no pot-holes please. Please, please, no underwater bricks ...... So yeah it kept going and managed to get through okay, with me riding smugly past a crowd of onlookers on the other side. Little did they know each foot was now marinating in a bootful of river water. Very ...... squidgy. I was still coming down 10 minutes later from the fact I'd not been washed away or had to abandon my new (5th hand actually) bike in a metre of water. Cripes, I've just remembered ..... I didn't change over the insurance!!!??? Bloody hell, If I had broken down I wouldn't have been able to claim. Whew, that was a close-un!! Anyway, to conclude the anecdote ..... the oil light came on. Gulp! Shit (again), the oil-lights normally thought of as serious as there's no longer oil circulating to lubricate the engine. So as not to risk a seized engine, I pulled over near the motorway junction to investigate. So there I am ..... new bike and don't know my way round the techy' bits yet. No tools, no wallet (so no money or breakdown cover card). No telephone (left in car with Kim cos’ we were expecting to go back in convoy) and to cap it all there was water pissing out from somewhere underneath. The water light had come on too, indicating it was overheating .... and more black clouds looming close soon to dump their load (it'd briefly stopped raining).

Happily it didn't turn into a nightmare, as the bike apparently righted itself. Maybe water had washed up round the radiator and got trapped preventing it cooling properly. Then when I stopped it was free to run out. There may have been a temporary 'short' too that caused the warning lights to come on. Whatever it was it now appeared normal, so decided to carry on down onto the motorway. Starting out slowly kept a weather-eye on the warning lights and pootled along a wet motorway at 80K. The ride back was finished more confidently at the national speed limit as well as overtaking up to 130Km/hr. Good bike, I was thinking. Having come through trial by water it'd already proved I'd picked the right bike.

I've since checked things out more thoroughly, along with making a start at finding my way round the moving bits of the new bike. Over the coming weeks, have more get more 'kit' for it, as well as continuing to take things off, and get to know what's where, to see if all’s well or anything needs beefing up.

And little old me??? Well I'm pleased to say I've managed to shake off the wog after only a few days whinging around with a dribbly nose. It was a combination of alcohol and Echinacea (herbal remedy), which did the trick. The rest of the weekend was good, with a visit to the piccy’s to see Transformers the movie. Yeah it's a bloody good film. Bit of a boy-flick, though Kim seemed to enjoy it too. A bit overlong and of course a predictable genre. But the spesh' FX were top-notch, along with nearly non-stop action. The Boy was rapt!!

To finish this posting. The weather!!!!! M’gosh …. It’s gotta be the wettest summer on record. Nearly every day sees rain or showers with the roads barely getting chance to dry out in between. Temperatures have to be distinctly below averages too. I’m hearing that there are no last minute hol’s abroad, as people dash to book anything trying to find a bit of sun & warmth. I think to myself (what a wonderful woooooooorld). No, no I don’t. Well, I do actually, but what I was going to say; is that I’m glad to have other plans. If I wasn’t planning on going walkabout would be climbing the walls with frustration at not being able to get out and about as much as I’d like. Especially on the bike …… ‘Kay, weather whinge done. Time to get showered and ready go out (pick up tank-bag etc). And …… well will ya look at that! It’s not raining (better check the weather forecast though).